The only direction this friendship seems to be heading is apart from one another...

But I'll survive. Because although I have lost friendships, I have also discovered love. Which has brought to me one friendship that will never dissolve.

Failure or Forgiveness?

How afraid I truely am of failure. I've learned this since we had musical auditions for Damn Yankees. The reason I don't express my singing voice as easily as I should is simply because I'm afraid of falling. Not afraid of what others would think of me, but afraid of what I would think of myself. When it comes to my talents, I'm far too hard on myself. I never sing in front of a crowd if I'm just sight singing, if I don't know the beat already. I can't seem to break out and dance in front of a group, afraid of falling and hurting my expectations that I have for myself. It'd be much easier if I could just accept my own mistakes and take my own advice, but it seems to be harder than I can wrap my mind around. Is it possible to be afraid of the two things that complete who I am as a person the most?

Just because you're old, doesn't mean you're wise

Anyone that thinks we are too young to witness love is just scared.



I'm no longer scared.

Out With the Old, In With the New...

I think it's good that I'm beginning to re-connect with a few of my past friendships. Because in a way it feels as if I'm proving to everyone that I'm not the one that has drastically changed after all...

How is it that some of the closest friends of mine have all needed to move away? Not even to a different city, but more like a different state, and most currently: a different country. When I need them the most, throughout my high school years, they can't be here to guild me along. I lost one friend a couple of years ago to Steamboat, Colorado. An extremely beautiful place I've learned, but nothing is the same without her here, not even the area code. Then this year, losing my absolute best friend ever, when she had to move to Canada. It was the worst feeling ever, to see her that very last moment. To this day I'm lucky enough if I can catch her on facebook. Then I'm blessed if I can talk to her via phone, considering the long distance charges are keeping me from her voice. And once this summer is over, I will be losing another friend once she moves off to Minnesota. I know she will be much happier there however, which I guess replaces my anticipation of her move. It just sucks, to have to lose the closest girls to you, and only being able to see them once a year, if even. I honestly thought that I would end up finding others that would end up replacing those girls, but that has yet to occur. Which is only good news, I know. Then it reminds me that they were actually living here with me in Sewer Falls, and it wasn't just me dreaming.